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Monday, August 25, 2014 11:32 pm
Once listen, ♥
Many a times I find myself living in the shadows of my past. And today is no exception.
I'm not sure if I've regretted the chances that I didn't take. But maybe things are working out fine, better then it'll ever be.
Despite that,
Thank you for being my light when my world was dark and empty.
Thank you for being my source of comfort when I was most in need of it.
Thank you for protecting me from the dangers that came my way.
Thank you for being my all at one point in time.
They say time will heal all wounds. And I hope the scars that I've left behind, would have faded by now, considering how long it's been.
5 years just flew by. And I miss you being there for me, every once in awhile.
Thank you for sharing your time with me, especially when I was most vulnerable and in doubt.
Thank you for walking with me through my pain, and being there for me, every step of the way.
Thank you for being the one that I could turn to, no matter the circumstances.
I miss you, and all that we had. A little more this year than any other.
I'm glad you're doing fine, and am enjoying yourself.
And as you always say,
Live Forever.
Friday, August 22, 2014 12:34 am
Friends listen, ♥
Friends are ever so important in our happiness and struggles. It's always nice to have someone there to share both our joy and pain. And in this day and age, it seems more difficult than ever to find someone that you can relate or talk to, someone who is physically and emotionally available to meet your needs, especially during trying times which are in most cases difficult to overcome, and showcases who are the ones who are worth keeping.
I'm ever so grateful for the wonderful people in my life. The ones that stood by me through thick and thin, the ones that will always have my back, the ones who will tell me to head to sleep even when I'm no where near completing my assignment or studying for my test because I'm exhausted.
It's one of those days where you look back and see the beauty of having each and everyone of those friends that mean the world to you.
Modern Day Signs of a True Friend. (Mandy Zucker)
Labels: http://thoughtcatalog.com/mandy-zucker/2014/01/16-modern-day-signs-of-a-true-friend/
Saturday, August 16, 2014 7:19 pm
Degree listen, ♥
I love the holidays! I love how I have nothing to do but to sit around and be a bum at home. I love how I've finally gained my lost sense of freedom, although it's not going to last for long. But it's more than enough.
This time that I have on hand has got me thinking, about what others have said to me and my fellow counterparts who are treading the same path as I am.
The pursuit of getting a degree hasn't been easy, at all. And whoever told me that JC was tougher than university has got to be kidding, because they're equally bad.
Everyone questions my choice, especially when they don't understand what I'm doing. They wonder why I wouldn't and refuse to take conventional degrees that would guarantee me a job in the future. But honestly, who can say for certain what the future holds?
With a conventional degree in business, economics, psychology and such, can we say with great assertion that we will attain a job in the future? I don't think so.
I've always wondered, what if I decided to take the step to pursue a degree in liberal arts, instead of just pursuing a bachelor of arts degree.
The chances we missed, the things we never took the step to try, will always remain a source of regret for us, no?
Nevertheless, I'm happy with my choice. I'm happy with how far I've gotten. I've never dreamt that I would come this far, and I'm thankful to those around me who have constantly reassured me that I'm doing fine, that I'm on the right track, that I'm better than what I make myself out to be.
"You can only fail if you never give it a go. Your dreams won't change, they won't disappear." - Caitlin Gilbert
12:28 am
Fat listen, ♥
Media has such a great influence that we've all bought into the ideals of trying to be thin in order to adhere to the standards that are thrown at us. We fear for our lives when the number on the weighing scale increases from time to time and scramble for our lives. Putting on our sporting gears and ready to charge forward, in order to lose whatever that we've gain. Ironic, no?
Are we really doing this for ourselves or to live up to expectations?
Are we happy trying to make the world feel at peace while we struggle to find meaning?
Are we doing this just so that we fit into the social spectrum?
Yes, it might seem as though we are doing it for ourselves, our vanity, because we want to look good, to fit into that pair of jeans, and the list goes on. But in all honesty, are we not just trying to make ourselves look better in the eyes of others just so that they would embrace us more?
It's unbelievable how much the media has influenced us. The glorification of size zero, of being thin, of looking good, of being pretty, has seen the condemnation of people who are considered 'fat' and 'obese'. Is it fair? Is it a fair judgement/claim, to assume that 'fat' people are not better off?
The idea of being thin has become so ingrained in the younger generation, and I worry for the generations to come.
Start living for yourselves because society won't live your life for you.
"We are mistaking fat for unhealthy and this is dangerous on many levels. It messes with our body images, and we begin to associate fat with unhealthy and thin with healthy." - Tabitha Moses
Labels: http://thoughtcatalog.com/tabitha-moses/2014/01/why-are-we-so-scared-of-fat/
Friday, August 15, 2014 12:23 am
Whatever listen, ♥
I know I'm being judged by the people around me, and even people who do not know me. But in all honesty, I don't really care.
I don't care about how you, and pretty much the rest of the world think about me. I'm not really concerned with how my friends see me, because at the end of the day, the decisions I make are in one way or another, supposed to be beneficial to me. And it's my life and my fight, why should I listen and adhere to all that others want, instead of pursuing what I really want.
It gets tiring when you have to live up to expectations, when there are a million and one things waiting for you to do, when there's a lack of motivation to do anything, and yet the work load is never ending, and the list goes on.
I know I've been selfish through and through, especially when I've made up my mind. And I'm not sorry.
I'm not sorry for being decisive every now and then because I'm tired of routines that are not adding value to my life.
I'm not sorry for being a bitch when there is a need to.
I'm not sorry for refusing to give extra chances when I don't see the need to.
I'm not sorry for the way I treat people that don't matter to me.
I'm not sorry for being who I am.
You know how there are always a hand full of people that add colours to your life, and are also the people that tear you apart? Sometimes, actually, most of the time, I feel that the people around me are like that. And it scares me.
It scares me when I think that I can trust them, that they'll be there during my darkest hours. And I get confused, I start to question, am I being fair to those who apparently matter to me?
I hate how I constantly have to battle with my insecurities.
I hate how I constantly have to tell myself that I'm better than this.
I hate how I constantly have to make myself believe that better things will come my way.
I'm so tired of being judged by people
I'm sorry, but you haven't done no shit to deserve such praise. I know for a fact that I'm difficult, but it's my life, let me live it my way.
"It is strong to understand that our only obligation is to ourselves, and that the rest are a façade we have built to make ourselves feel important."
"People have an innate way of knowing when another person will not completely fulfil them. It runs deep through our veins, and one of the bravest things you can do is tap into that feeling."
"The bravest people are the ones who are ready and willing to choose to be alone because they're willing to walk away from the love they know isn't whole."
- Shawn Binder
Labels: http://thoughtcatalog.com/shawn-binder/2014/01/the-bravest-thing-in-love/
Monday, August 04, 2014 11:25 pm
Confession listen, ♥
I am thinking of things to say to you so that I may know my exact words to you. But I can't. It's been almost two months since I told you to give me some time for myself, to determine what I actually want.
I most certainly do not know if this is the right thing to do, but what I do know is that I have to end this.
I can't go on for neither of us is happy. I don't think I am as sure of my feelings as much as you are of yours. I want to end this now, as soon as possible. So you can move on and go back to the way you were before.
This sounds stupid and you may think I'm selfish. Go ahead. But I am not the one for you. I do not deserve your love. You love and care too much. And it's beautiful. You're beautiful. But it's just not for me. I'm not sure if that is how I want to be loved.
You were great. We laughed together, went through tough times, we were happy.
I've learnt a lot from you, and from the times we spent together, and apart. I've learnt what I want and do not want in a relationship. I've learnt what to do and not to do in particular phases in a relationship. I've learnt that taking the time to talk will always be your greatest friend in making a relationship work.
We do not want the same things anymore. The person I am now is different from the one I was before.
Point is, this thing we have, is not working. We tried to fix it so many times, but nothing good ever happened. At this point, it's like we don't even know how to talk to each other. We don't understand each other. We don't know each other. We don't make sense. And because I've changed. And I'm really sorry.
Maybe this is not for us. Maybe we're not meant to be together. Maybe the girl you're meant to be with is still out there, waiting for you, hoping that one day, you would be coming to her life. Maybe we were only destined by a higher power to meet at some point in our lives to learn from each other.
I am oblivious of what the future holds for us. But I would say that the present leads us to the future, and I don't see myself being part of your future.
To be honest, these past few weeks have been difficult and exhausting. But I can imagine how much more they have been for you.
Let's face it. I'm not capable of making you happy anymore. I do not even know how to put a smile on your face. I just continue to bring pain.
We complemented each other when we were friends. We were completely different, but it worked. If we were really meant to be together, then we should have found a way back to each other. But we didn't. We stopped being good for each other the moment we took that risk and decided to be more than that.
Perhaps, it just had to come to a point where it has got to stop. I'm sorry.
Please know that the last thing I wanted to do is hurt you.
Thank you for being a part of my life.
Good bye!
- Samantha Faye
These are the exact same thing that I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't bring myself to because of the damage that I've already done. Someday, I'll be courageous and send this out. Somehow.
Labels: http://thoughtcatalog.com/samantha-faye/2014/08/when-she-is-the-one-who-leaves/
8:48 pm
Done listen, ♥I did it, I finally did it. |
♥  MARTHA KATHLEEN CLARE SOH RUILING! Bestf! ♥ Fareen Yeo ♥ Partner-in-Crime ♥ February ♥ Jung Yonghwa 정용화 ♥ CNBLUE! 씨엔블루 ♥ Tiffany Hwang 티파니 ♥ Reminisce,
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Applause, |
| Everything you want, is on the other side of fear. | |